Black Avengers
by RandomWriter101
Summary: What would happen if the Avengers were preparing themselves for Black Friday.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I know it's kinda late but I haven't had time to actually write all of this down. This was actually inspired because I went to Black Friday for the first time this year. I thrived on the chaos, it was truly spectacular... then after about half and hour it got boring... wouldn't Loki be proud?**

"All right our meeting has begun," Tony said as he laid out a virtual map of the base they were targeting. Tony glanced at the others around the table, Natasha was twirling a knife and Clint was staring closely at the the map.

"Shouldn't we wait for Steve and Thor?" Bruce asked as he examined the realistic virtual model.

Tony and Clint both shook their heads. "Twinkle Toes would just slow us down and Point Break isn't ready to see this side of earthlings yet, they're just not ready." Tony shook his head sadly before continuing. "Okay Hawkeye," he looked at the archer. "This is your station," suddenly all the rafters and pipes on the ceiling turned purple instead of white. "We need you to do reconnaissance, take a perimeter check, or whatever you call it. If you see something worth saving use one of those arrows to get it, if a bogey gets in the way," he slid a finger across his throat. "Take out the threat."

The group nodded as they watched the model turn so Clint could get the jest of his locations. Then a center turned dark red and Tony continued with their plan. "Widow this is your station. Mostly because your expertise are most needed in this section. Take what you can and remember to put all of us into consideration and not just yourself." He gave her a hard look. "We're a team now, even if all of the team isn't here."

"Okay so where do I go Tony?" Bruce asked as he examined the unshaded areas. Tony put his arm around his friends shoulders as another part of the map was highlighted green. "You have to take cover on the south east side, we've each given you lists, find what you can and get out. And remember this is not a time for the big guy, we need you on this one." Bruce pouted slightly and raised an eyebrow at Tony. "And where will you be?"

Tony laughed as another part was shaded hot rod red and yellow with sparks flying around. "Why my good man I will take it to the back of the base. Take what I can get and get rid of complications on the way, you know most of the bogey's like to hang around the back so really I have the hardest job."

All of a sudden the doors to the small meeting room bursted open to reveal a large figure.

"CONCEAL PLAN CAPPY!" Tony shouted as he and the others covered the map from view of the person. Instead of Steve, however, Thor walked into the room and shut the doors, making it dark once again.

With their faces silhouetted the god joined them. "What is it we are doing my friends?" The god asked as he examined the now unhidden map.

"Uh we were just-" Hawkeye was smacked upside the head by Black Widow. "Shush, let Stark decide if we're compromised or not." They all looked at their new leader to wait his opinion.

Tony placed his hand on his chin in thought and then looked at the God of thunder. "He may be of use to us yet."

"But we still shouldn't put him in direct line of fire," Clint spoke out.

Tony nodded and looked at Thor, then he pointed to a section that was being highlighted in neon blue. "This is your station, stay in your section and don't die. This is your mission, should you choose to accept it."

Thor looked puzzled at the part of the base that had been declared his. "My friends why is it I am stuck in the 'dairy' section?" Thor asked as he examined the map.

"Oh because we're out of groceries. I've got all the stuff for the actual Thanksgiving meal but besides that we need food." Tony looked back at the very very accurate display of their Wal-Mart. Looking back at his teammates he smiled. "Do we all have it?"

Bruce pouted. "At least you didn't get stuck at the toys, that section will be vicious to get some of those bikes." Bruce muttered.

Just then without any kind of warning someone turned on the lights, blinding all the parties in the room.

"AAAHHH! DAMMIT!" Tony screamed as he covered his eyes from the blinding light.

"I know what you guys are up to," Steve said as he entered the room.

"CONCEAL PLAN CAPPY!" Just like the first time the group tried to cover up the 3-D map of the 'base'.

Natasha was nearly sprawled out on the table while trying to look natural. Bruce wasn't even trying, just covering what he could with his hands. Thor stayed away from the table, not trying to break it. Clint and Tony were leaning on each others shoulders at the front of the thing Charles' Angels style.

"Eat all evidence," Tony hissed at them all.

"Why don't you just ask JARVIS to disable it?" Clint hissed back.

"Because that would be logical," Tony said sarcastically.

Steve looked at them. "Guys I know what you're up to," he repeated, puffing out his chest. "And I want in, I can't let you guys go on a mission without me." He stood their awhile longer before he started feeling awkward.

Tony rubbed the back of his head. "Uh actually Cap, the reason we didn't tell you about the 'mission' is because... you'll just slow us down." He said with an apologetic smile. The others had their eyes downcast, not wanting to meet the captain's eyes.

Steve's eyes became tight knit as he looked confusedly at them all. "What? How could I hold you guys back or slow you down?" Then he looked at the diagram. "Is that Wal-Mart?"

The rest of the group started coughing and trying to keep the model concealed, even though their cover was blown. Tony was the one that stopped the charade. "Okay listen, none of us thought you were ready for this which is why we decided to keep it a secret." He motioned to the diagram. "Yes that is Wal-Mart, you see in this time we still have the Thanksgiving dinner (if you wanna deal with all that mess)," Tony muttered. "But there's also another holiday, Black Friday. You see, Thanksgiving is Thursday and all the Christmas sales start Friday. This has been a very long tradition and it usually is a bunch of people, too many to handle, tearing each other apart for a TV or the latest movies." It was there that Tony ended his tale, with a smile on his face and a twinkle in his eye.

Steve still seem confused. "Why is it called 'Black' Friday?"

"Because when they first started having the sale a lot of people would gather at the entrance and trample over one another to get everything they can," Natasha answered, leaving Steve a shade or two paler.

"At great prices though," Clint butted in with a thumbs up.

"But, it's Monday," Steve said innocently. Everyone jumped as Natasha slammed down the knife she had been twirling earlier before. "It is never too late to prepare for battle," she practically yelled, quieting everyone else.

Steve just blankly started at the team, trying to make sense of it all. He started to blush as he kicked at the ground, asking barely above a whisper. "Why can't I come?"

There was a moment of silence then Tony called a meeting and everyone huddled up. "Should we really take him on? I mean he could be a liability," Stark stated to his friends.

"Yeah but he's pretty strong, he just may be of use yet," Natasha argued.

"True, but bigger does't always mean better Tasha," Clint answered. "He could get trapped in the mob, you and I can squirm our way out of those situations."

"Guys I think we should let him in or else this'll be like Paintball Tuesday again and he won't talk to us for a week," Bruce said pointedly.

"I agree with Dr. Banner, let him join in on the battle," Thor boomed quietly.

Everyone looked at each other for a moment and shared a nod, dispersing they looked back at the Captain. Sighing Tony took a step forward. "All right Cap you're in."

Steve smiled broadly, just because he wasn't familiar with this time didn't mean he couldn't have fun in it. He looked back at the diagram, getting more and more excited by the second. "So where's my spot?"

It was then that everyone's smile faded and they huddled up again. When they broke again Steve was assigned his spot. A segment of the map started glowing blue and red with stars. Steve looked expectantly at the diagram, confusion taking hold of him once again. "Uh Tony, isn't that the registers?"

Tony nodded. "Yeah we need you there."

"Think of us like robbers and you're the getaway car," Clint pointed out.

Steve sighed, he couldn't believe he had agreed to this.

**A/N: Didn't really plan on it being more than a one shot, but hey if you want me to continue all you gotta do it let me know.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Oh my gosh guys I am so freaking sorry, there aren't enough words in all the languages to say I'm sorry. I've had a lot and I've decided to make it three chapters. Chapter 1 was Day one, you'll figure it out later. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own and I had help with this chapter by Morethanmeetstheeye96 Thanks girl so much, this chapter wouldn't have made it without you.**

Day 2: Training

Tuesday they all went through rigorous training, mastering the art of stealth, martial arts and the ability to run from a screaming old lady with a walker.

"Where did you come up with these simulations?" Steve asked after a particularly rough training exercise involving a mob of teenage girls hurling themselves at the Avengers mercilessly, the electricity went out and a giant Snoopy ballon the size of the Hulk somehow got inside.

"Past experiences," Tony said casually, looking over a monitor with various recordings of their last practice.

"Is this all really necessary for something as simple as shopping?" Thor asked, sweating and on the verge of passing out. Not even the Asgard warrior training had been as hard, or as complex as this 'Black' Friday shopping.

In answer to his question Natasha stood up from her seat, water bottle in hand and hit Thor's head with it. Thor let out a small yelp more out of surprise than anything.

"It is absolutely necessary," Clint said seriously, his face set in a mask of determination. This was going to be the most glorious event of their lives and he wasn't going to let some stupid demigod or soft super soldier mess it up. Besides, he was getting one of those X-boxes if it killed him, and it probably would.

Day 3: Preparations

Tony had called all the Avengers into a meeting. "All right guys, this is it. Today is the last day to prepare before Black Friday. Tomorrow will be the calm before the storm. So we need to make sure we get a long rest." Tony stated.

"So we've gotta memorize this map," just then the map from the other day lit up everything. There was a long moment as the original four started taking mental pictures and notes. Thor seemed engrossed simply by the map, not the mission.

Steve looked at the others for awhile, his face set in confusion. This did not go unnoticed by their now current leader. "Cap, I swear if you have any second thoughts, say something now because I will not take the responsibility for your death. So spill it."

Steve blushed slightly as he looked at the others. "Uh it's just... what about Thanksgiving?"

It was then that the others stared at the Captain, starting to make him feel uncomfortable. "What's _Thanksgiving_?" Clint asked, his voice full of sarcasm.

Thor who had a look of perplexity at the question and looked at his friend. "Why, my good friend, it is a traditional Midgardian celebration. One where you kill and consume large amounts of fowl and other Midgardian food," he slapped Clint on the back. "It is a glorious feast."

Clint shrugged him away. "You idiot," he muttered.

Tony intervened between the two. "Thor he was being sarcastic and how the hell do you know about Thanksgiving?"

Thor smiled broadly. "Friend Jane." The others nodded in understanding. Tony walked up to his friend. "Listen Cap, not to burst your old fashioned brain but no one really celebrates that holiday anymore."

Cap's face fell. "What do you mean?"

"Thursday isn't really Thanksgiving anymore, it's just the day before Black Friday, sometimes it's even _on_ Thursday."

Steve looked appalled at the thought. How could this be? He would have to fix this. He walked out just as Tony said, "Alright lets look at the new uniforms."

Day 4: Thanksgiving

Natasha woke up at 5:30 in the morning to the sound of the fire alarm. Now, usually buildings were equipped with normal alarms, but as always, tony's had a little more flare.

"_Guys get out, the house in on FIIIIIIIRRREEE we're all gonna DIIIIIIIIEEE! RUUUUN RUN RUN, SAVE YOURSELVES!" _Natasha had never disliked Tony's voice more than she did at that moment. Pulling herself out of the bed she wandered into the hall. There was a lot of banging and a trail of smoke. Natasha followed the smoke into the kitchen where she found Steve standing in the middle of the smoking kitchen.

"What the hell are you doing?" Natasha asked as she entered the kitchen, making Steve jump. Steve started blushing and looked embarrassed.

"Tony said no one celebrated Thanksgiving anymore so I just wanted to do something nice." Natasha rolled her eyes then looked at the burnt bird, Steve noticed this. "I was just-"

"Trying to figure out how to use the stove?" Steve nodded and Natasha stepped toward the stove.

A few minutes later the fire alarm was shot with an arrow by Clint and the others were all awake within the hour. Natasha walked into the main room where everyone was and just slouched unto a couch and turned on the TV. The others didn't question it and pretty soon everyone was engrossed in the television.

After about five hours Steve came out in a red and gold apron with some form of substance on the apron and his face. Everyone turned to see the messy Captain. Tony stood and smirked at the apron, then his face became confused.

"What were you doing in the kitchen?" Tony quirked an eyebrow.

"You have a kitchen?" Clint looked at the billionaire questionably.

Soon a quarrel erupted between everyone, it seemed the storm happened a little early.

"SHUT UP!" Steve yelled, surprising everyone with his loud voice, even Thor was impressed. "Okay listen up pussy willows. I may be new to this century and time but I'll be damned if one of the best things about this country is ruined. I don't care what other people do, we're supposed to be better. I've been working my ass off for the past five hours cooking a normal American Thanksgiving dinner. So you've all got ten minutes to get into that kitchen and act like we're civil people." Steve yelled, face turning red from yelling.

Now even in this moment of crisis Tony had to make it worse. "And if we don't?"

Steve narrowed his eyes than spoke without even blinking an eye. "Then I'll ask JARVIS to put the tower and your suits on lockdown until Sunday."

"You wouldn't." Tony challenged. "JARVIS loves me," Steve claimed before walking back into the kitchen.

"You know turkey actually sounds really good right now," Bruce said softly.

"You think he's bluffing?" Clint asked.

"I wouldn't test it." Natasha said.

"There's always cyber Monday," Tony grumbled.

"Time for the feast," Thor boomed.

Natasha stood outside Clint's room in a nice brown skirt and frilly white top. After she knocked Clint opened the door, in nothing but sweat pants and a wife beater. Natasha raised an eyebrow at him. "You are _not_ wearing that," she commented on his attire.

"Why not?" Clint pouted as he looked at his clothes.

"Do you really want to test Steve?" She pointed back into his room. "Go put on better clothes, or I'll come pick them out," she narrowed her eyes as her partner closed the door to change.

Steve sat at the table, it had really turned out quite well. There were mashed potatoes, green beans, corn on the cob, honey rolls, cranberries, stuffing, his homemade macaroni casserole, and at last the turkey. You could smell five different types of pie baking in the oven at that moment. After burning the first one he made sure to make the second one perfect. Slowly the other Avengers all came in at once, all dressed nice. Steve smiled to himself, they were actually trying.

Together all six of them sat down together and acted civil... for at least half an hour. They were commenting on how great the food was, and they actually laughed and acted like human beings. Then it happened, Clint dared Thor to see who could eat more the quickest. Emotions got escalated and soon they were all fighting again. The fight would have gone on longer if it wasn't for the oven going off. Steve went to get the desserts and things calmed down again.

It was a nice meal and soon everyone forgot about Black Friday, that is until JARVIS started the countdown. The time had come and they were ready for battle.

**A/N: Thank you guys so much for all the reviews, just want you guys to know I never ignore a review, just get busy is all. Anyway, never be afraid to review, it's never too late. Also a heads up I just might make a spin off story about the dinner, so be on the look out. Next chapter BLACK FRIDAY, THE DAY HAS FINALLY COME and just in time for Christmas *cough cough***


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Okay guys words cannot describe how bad I feel about not finishing this story. I had planned to finish it before Christmas (we see how well that turned out). I just didn't know what do to here and how to finish it. But it's all done and over with, sorry it took so long and I hope it was worth the wait with a super duper extra long chapter.**

_THE MISSION:_

_Get in and get out with as little incident as possible. Take as much as you can with the best deals. And most importantly, don't get involved with an old lady, it's just not worth it._

Natasha looked at the shirt with writing on it. "I am _not_ wearing this." Tony pouted at the assassin as he sported the 'new uniforms' he had been talking about earlier, it turns out he hadn't been kidding. "Oh come on Tashy, it's not that bad. I even got them to match your colors." He gestured to the five other shirts with the colors sure enough matching the person meant to wear it.

"I said no and never call me that again," Natasha sneered as she gave Stark a death glare.

"Actually I strangely kind of agree with Nat on this one," Clint said as he took a closer look at the shirts.

"Strangely my behind, you always side with her." Tony pouted again at not getting his way.

"Think about it Stark," Steve made his case. "We want to try to blend in, these shirts as... flattering as they are," Clint eyed his neon purple and black one. "People would be ripping us apart." The others all agreed.

"Fine," Tony yelled and stormed off. "If you guys don't want to wear my shirts then by all means don't." And with that the billionaire left without another word.

"Do you think we should go talk to him?" Bruce asked him. "I mean we can't complete this mission without our leader, no offense." Bruce looked at Steve.

"None taken," Steve nodded then took a deep breath. "TONY WE'RE LEAVING NOW WITH OR WITHOUT YOU!" He yelled, his voice filling the tower. Instantly they heard someone scurrying down the steps. "Don't you dare Rogers," they heard Tony from one floor up. "You're not trained enough to lead these people." He finally came down all the steps, dressed in a flashy black shirt and brown leather jacket. Shades completed the outfit. Looking at Natasha he gestured to his outfit. "Better?"

Natasha gave him a once over before nodding. "For you, yeah." Tony lowered his glasses and looked at the others. "Let's suit up."

Steve's face turned a nasty shade of green as he held on for dear life to the door handle. He couldn't believe he had pulled the short straw, now he was forced to ride with Tony Stark, the guy who crashed at Monaco. Steve couldn't understand how calm Bruce seemed in the passenger seat. He was on some sort of gadget or phone, just punching in what seemed to be random numbers.

"You okay back there Cappy?" Tony asked as he pulled down his sunglasses and looked at the rearview back at his friend. "I'm fine Stark just watch the road," Steve tried not to scream it as he watched the road himself.

Tony snickered at the same time as Steve heard Clint chuckling on his earpiece.

"_What's wrong Cap?"_

Steve silently cursed Clint. "Well how's it going with Thor?"

From his position in the driver's seat, Clint gave a rueful chuckle. "Fair enough," he was then cut off by Natasha yelling. "THOR GET YOUR HEAD BACK INSIDE THIS CAR, YOU ARE NOT A DOG!" Clint groaned. "What's he doing now?"

Natasha leaned forward from her spot in the back. "Oh nothing much, but Stark now has a new sunroof." Clint didn't know whether to be amused or annoyed. Sure it was funny that Thor had ruined one of Stark's babies but since _he_ was the one currently _driving_ the vehicle he was a bit irritated.

The two carpools parked at the very, very, far, far, faaaaar end of the parking lot, obviously late to the show. Quickly all the members of each vehicle jumped out of their cars and started running. Tony spoke to everyone who wasn't already with him through the comm.

"_Okay we are a little behind but we can make it up. So people GO GO GO!"_

Clint ran side by side with Natasha, looking on his other side he noticed they were down one demi-god. He turned around and saw Thor looking around confused. "Yo Asgardian, we gotta go." He yelled, getting the attention of his friend. "Right you are friend Hawkeye."

He started running along, trying to catch up to the two assassins. But he still turned again, he could've sworn he saw someone familiar. And him seeing someone familiar was worth mentioning, but he didn't have time think about it.

Once inside the belly of the beast is where our brave heroes met. Bruce thought the comms were stupid to have, but know considering he and the others couldn't be within a foot of each other he was relieved to be able to hear Tony's voice.

"_Okay guys this is what we trained for. We each know our mission, but in case this doesn't end well."_

"_No Stark, don't go down that road." _Natasha said.

"_He is right friend Widow. It has been an honor to fight along all of you. FOR ASGARD!" _Thor boomed, causing terrible feedback.

LET THE GAMES BEGIN

Without any trouble Clint quickly was able to scale onto the rafters on the ceiling. Looking around he waited to spot his teammates, he always did see better from a distance. "Bruce, your coming up on an aisle with an old lady. Get out of there man, she's out for the kill." He watched, relieved to see his friend moving quickly out of the death zone. "Nat they just put up a sale for wife beaters and pajama bottoms, you're gonna want to get in on that. Thor I just saw a new shipment of _TRESemmé_ and _Herbal Essences_, you know we all need our hair products."

"_Affirmative friend Hawk." _Thor responded.

"Hey what are doing up there?" Clint looked down. "Shit," he muttered under his breath. A security guard had found him, a guy was actually doing his job for once? Just ignore him, he thought to himself... didn't work.

"You're not allowed up there," the guard, about twenty-two, yelled again. Just when Clint was about to respond to the guy the man was tackled to the ground. Clint almost fell from his perch when he saw who it was and what they said.

"He can do whatever the hell he wants, this is America." Steve stated boldly down to the man he had just tackled. Then he looked up at Clint and saluted, actually saluted. Clint roared with laughter and moved to a different perch for whenever the guy woke up.

"_What is it?"_ Clint heard Stark ask, he sounded a bit upset to be out of the loop.

"Oh nothing, our good ole Cap just tackled a security guard then practically just read him his rights and quoted the Declaration of Independence." Clint spoke through his laughter. The same roaring laughter he heard from the other end. "Oh I gotta get me a copy of that security footage, we'll make it his Christmas present." Clint chuckled at the thought of that.

Bruce looked around, making sure not to run into another old lady. He already saw one dude with three claw marks across his face. He was looking through the games, he was just about to pick up a thing of _Apples to Apples_ when he noticed a rather large group of girls. They were all gathered around something about a High School full of monsters. Bruce didn't think they sold any _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ things anymore.

Just as he turned back to his personal battle between _Apples to Apples _and_ Monopoly Millionaire_ he felt a disturbance. He turned back to look and saw that all of them were gone. There was a strange silence around him, he shivered. "Uh guys?" He asked anonymously to everyone.

"_Yeah buddy?"_ Bruce heard Tony on the other end.

"Uh this may be weird but have any of you guys noticed something... weird?"

"_You mean besides this whole completely stupid and crazy event?"_ Steve's bitter voice spat on another line.

"_Aw can Cappy not take the heat?"_ Bruce groaned at Tony's quip against their friend. "Look guys I'm serious," he broke it up before it could start. "Have any of you noticed, uh, disappearances?"

"_Around what age group?" _Natasha asked skeptically.

"Uh, somewhere between early teens to young adults." Instantly he heard confirmative noises on the multiple ends of the comm.

Tony looked around the electronics. He had been avoiding a group of girls surrounding the _Twilight_ display. Now as he looked back at the display they were all gone, all of them. "Uh yeah affirmative on that one Brucie." Tony turned all around him, but saw no girls around that age, none. "Yeah a negative on all females of that age, not even near the stupid vampire displays."

Suddenly the intercom turned on and a bone chilling voice rang throughout the whole store.

"KNEEEEEEEEELLLLLLL."

Silence rang out throughout the recently cacophonous store. Clint slowly (and dramatically) pulled off his sunglasses. "Oh my gosh," he said barely above a whisper. Natasha's hand went to her ear, she was nervous about breaking the silence but spoke all the same. "Did you guys hear tha-" she was cut off by a distraught cry on one of the comms. "Banner, Banner what's wrong?"

"It's him, he's- he's got an army of-"

"Fangirls?" Tony finished his science bro's sentence with a horrified tone. "Bruce listen to me get out, get out now." But it was too late.

"_No, no please. There's too many of them. Please, have mercy!"_ There was a crackle of static on the line and a lot of commotion until it finally went completely dead.

"Banner? Bruce?" Steve called into the comm.

"BRUCE!" The others heard the billionaire scream out to his friend, who they all knew was gone.

"Stark," Steve had been walking around the whole store when he noticed the man he called. He ran over to him. "Don't do anything irrational, we don't know everything yet." The smaller man pushed the bigger one away. "We know that bastards here and we know that Bruce is gone, we have to Avenge him."

"Yo guys, how big _is_ this place?" Clint asked as he dropped down to the others. Soon the whole gang, minus one were all together near the electronics. Suddenly all the TV's turned to a different channel, this channel being a close-up on the God of Mischief himself.

"Loki, what is your business here?" Thor asked as he looked at his brother's face through the screen.

"Thor I'm pretty sure he can't hear-" Natasha was cut off by the televisions' responses.

"Do you really think I would miss this?" The god asked with a mischievous smile. "What a glorious human celebration full of such wonderful chaos."

Thor went to punch one of the TV's but Natasha held him back, only mumbling. "You break it you buy it."

"Brother stop this foolish enslavement, it will only further ruin your hearing and sentence." Loki looked confused at his brother. "What do you mean by, enslavement?"

Thor looked at his brother with equal confusion. "How is it you don't know of the enslavement? You are the one enslaving them." Loki turned the _'camera'_ to a group of females. They all practically had hearts in their eyes, some were even drooling. "Are these the enslaved females you are speaking of?"

"Yes of course."

Loki rolled his eyes. "You are more dense than I previously believed," he sighed. "They are not _enslaved_. They are here completely by freewill, I have not possessed them."

"But you have before you little-" Natasha placed a hand on Clint's shoulders before he could finish his sentence.

"Yes you are correct mortal, yes I _have_ used possession. But not in this situation, I swear it. They are here themselves of their own freewill as I said before." Thor looked at him confusedly, then the others. "How can this be?" Tony rolled his eyes and wrenched himself out of Steve's grip. "It's called 'Fangirl Syndrome'," when he noticed all the confused looks, even from Loki he continued. "It means the girls are... uh, infatuated with him, sort of obsessed. So yeah I guess they could be enslaved in their own minds to want to be close and around him no matter what. Side effects include," he started counting on his fingers. "Obscene obsession, foaming of the mouth, stealing parts of the obsess-e, and a loss of ova-"

"That's quite enough Stark," Steve interrupted, his face turning slightly red.

Loki looked at them with a look of slight confusion, amusement, and of course, mischief. "Are you saying these Midgardians are or would do my bidding simply because they find me... attractive?" Tony nodded in response, "Pretty much."

"That sounds, interesting." One of the girls came up and whispered in his ear, causing him to smile. "Well that does seem unfortunate," he looked back at the remainder of the Avengers. "Well it seems that in my girls', uh, get together it seems I have acquired a teammate of yours," his grin took a turn for the worse. "The beast."

Before anyone could say anything else Tony nearly jumped into the display, his previous debonair manner gone. "And what makes you think he won't kick the crap out of your sorry ass again Reindeer Games?" He spat out with a surprising amount of venom, his blood boiled even more when he saw the glint in Loki's eyes. "Well Man of Iron it seems as if your friend has been knocked out by a... stampede. He is currently incapacitated, so as for your 'kicking' theory it seems that will not happen."

"Yet," Tony muttered to himself.

"What are you planning to do with him?" Steve asked hesitantly, unsure of how devious Loki's plans were.

Loki seemed to think for a moment before another girl, one with a shirt with all of the Avengers on it whispered something else in his ear, a small cluster giggling nearby.

"Well it seems the choice is not up to me," Loki said, curling his lip at the team. "It would appear several of my-uh I believe you called them 'fangirls'-have taken him prisoner, I believe equally infatuated with him as they are with me. Be warned Avengers, we already have one of your people, I would hate for my..." At this point Loki turned to the large mass of young women surrounding him. "Is it okay if I call you my minions?"

The answer came in the form of a loud and incomprehensible mass of squeals, squeals of delight and a few faintings. "I take that as a yes. Anyway where was I? Oh yes, I would hate for my minions to start picking you all of one by one. I believe a certain owner of Stark Industries is next," he finished, cackling evilly as the cameras flicked off.

Tony gulped, a look of utter horror dominating his face.

"Haven't you dealt with fangirls before, Stark?" Natasha asked. "Being a rich famous playboy as well as a superhero and all."

"Yeah I've had several, but I've always had things like cops, SWAT teams, JARVIS, and Happy keeping them at bay. This time all I have is a demi-god, two assassins and some old fashioned soldier boy. They will pick you off and rip you to pieces."

"Gee thanks," Steve muttered.

"And we don't have any weapons," Clint groaned. "Steve only let us bring Nerf guns. How's that gonna help?"

Tony gave an indignant noise and whirled at Clint. "You listened to Steve? But I'm the team leader right now," he whined, stomping his foot and folding his arms.

"Wait, doesn't this Mart of walls provide various forms of weaponry?" Thor questioned.

"Shut up man, the experienced people are talking." Tony said, ignoring Thor's comment entirely.

"So what do we do?" Clint asked, rubbing his hands together. Natasha smacked him behind the head. "Duh, we have to get Banner back."

"Oh yeah well how do we do that?" Clint argued. The two assassins started butting heads while a certain Norse god started wondering away towards an area that seemed to hold weapons. The super soldier came between the two. "Okay enough you guys," the two looked at him. "Look you two are friends, so stop arguing. We need to focus and calm down, look Stark I know you're the leader but," Steve stopped as he was about to address the part time leader. But he was no where, gone like smoke. "Uh, Stark?"

The camera's flickered on again and Loki's face was on the screen again, only he seemed slightly less delighted than before. "Did I not say they would strike?" His voice didn't seem to have a threatening tone, more of a slight 'I warned you' tone.

"Okay Loki what do you want?" Steve said, his tone softening as he decided he would go easy on the guy. For now.

It was here that Loki's face was slightly scared as he kept looking off camera then back at them. "Uh, what do I want?" His voice then dropped to a whisper. "I want you to come get these maniacs." The three currently staring at the screen were taken aback.

"What do you mean get rid of them?" Clint asked. Loki leaned in closer, his eyes slightly insane. "I mean come save your friends and me, these females, they're too much. I only came here to watch the chaos, not this," Loki gestured then an image appeared.

I was a large pile of random things, very random things. "They won't stop bringing me things. All the fun of this day is gone and now that they have acquired the beast and the leader of Stark Industries they've lost all dignity and sense." They then heard a muffled voice. "That's what fangirls do amateur." The camera zoomed in on Tony, who was being swarmed by women. "That's why when they approach you you avoid them, they latch on and never let go."

"Well how is it I was to know this would happen?" Loki shot back at the billionaire. Tony stuck out his tongue. "You wouldn't know because you're not from here you moron. Now if you want more information of your situation call off the dogs."

"I can't, as you said before they have their own minds."

"Yes you boob that's true, but they'll listen to you for only a few minutes, enough for me to describe your problem." Tony moved his head around him. There were actually quite a lot of women around him. "Listen girls," Tony started. "Mr. Loki and I need a moment to speak. You wouldn't mind, would you?" His voice was dripping with charisma, the girls instantly let go of him and watched dreamily. Tony walked over to the mini frost giant. He looked at his teammates as he spoke. "Listen, you're going to want to leave pretty soon."

"And why would I want to do that Mr. Stark?" Loki looked at him as if he were insane. "I quite like it here, even with the strange army."

Clint tapped on the TV, getting the attention of both men. "Uh, yeah sure sparky you like it now. But just wait till it gets worse." Loki looked at him confused. "What will get worse?" Natasha was then the one to speak up. "Oh you don't know?"

"Don't know what?" Both Steve and Loki said at once. Tony only laughed and then whispered into Loki's ear. The man's eyes grew wide and he looked at the man. Then in less than a second the man ran, to where no one was sure. The camera, or whatever was recording them had fallen over and you could see dozen of female footwear chasing after him.

"Well that was interesting." The crew turned around to see Tony and Thor, holding up an unconscious Bruce. "Where the hell did you go Thor?" Natasha asked as the rest of their team came closer. "Well you see Widow, I was searching for means of weapons and came across a door. I was just about to open it when Loki and a mob ran out of it. I then walked in to find our missing friends." Thor finished his tale with a rather large goofy smile.

"Okay dudes seriously," Clint looked around the store. "How big _**is**_ this freaking place?"

Bruce started stirring and and they carefully put him down. Bruce shook his head and looked around him, still a bit dazed. "Where is everyone?" Steve went to his friend's side. "After Loki's announcement everyone left." Tony looked around and scoffed. "Leaving during Black Friday just because a man who had once threatened the earth is here? I have lost all faith in humanity." Steve turned and gave his friend the strangest look.

Standing up the team made sure each and every one of them were fine and not injured, then there was a moment of silence. "So if everyone left does that mean we all have the store to ourselves?" Clint asked openly.

"If we do, how do we pay for everything?" Natasha answered a question with a question.

"Who cares guys, we just leave and put money in the register, simple as that." Tony said as he randomly picked up an empty cart. "We must finish our mission."

**A/N: Okay so once again apologies for not finishing it in time. Also a heads up. After this chapter I'm going to add a 'Bonus Chapter' it's kinda like a day or two after the Black Friday mishap. So I've already typed it and will update it accordingly, so you don't have to wait. HAPPY NEW YEAR.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Okay I know it's been awhile but I never really felt the muse so theres not much in the chapter... sorry.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own**

_It was Christmas Day and all through the tower_

_All of our Avengers admired their power_

_All the gifts, toys, and things they needed_

_In their mission impossible they had succeeded_

((Now enough of these crappy rhymes, let's get down to business.))

Everyone was pretty happy with what they had picked up themselves and could be seen playing all over the tower.

Tony was in his room playing his new _World of Warcraft_ game on his new laptop, Natasha was working with the new virtual shooting game, Thor was happily using his new waffle iron, Bruce was messing with a little chemistry set while Steve was punching his new punching bag, and Clint was on the balcony with his new sniper bow.

Everything was fine, everyone was getting along and having fun. That is until a certain billionaire found something while he was surfing the web.

"BARTON!" Iron Man's scream could be heard from all over New York.

Steve placed down his cup of coffee and looked at the billionaire's best friend. Bruce just shrugged and watched as the scene unfolded.

Clint dropped from an air vent. He ran toward the balcony just as the genius scaled down a fire pole in the center of the winding stairs. "I swear Stark I don't know what you're talking about." A flustered Hawkeye said as he ran toward the glass doors. Just as he reached them an alarm was sounded and a metal shield descended and blocked the door. the marksman turned around and looked genuinely scared. "Look Stark if you want a cut all you have to do is ask," he gave a halfhearted chuckle as the other man came closer.

Natasha intercepted the two. Putting a hand on Stark's shoulder she looked at her partner. "What did you do this time Clint?"

"I..." Before he could even finish his statement Stark started blowing up. "I'll tell you what he did, that little punk stole from me." This was when the accused assassin went on the defensive. "It's not technically stolen if you don't own it Stark," he spit out the billionaire's name.

The two started throwing insults at each other through the only female on the team. It then became too much for the humblest member of the team. "ENOUGH!" Bruce shouted, causing everyone to become silent instantly. "Now one of you tell me, what happened?"

"That," Tony gestured to Thor who had just entered the room. Thor was actually wearing civilian clothes today. But what was interesting was the particular shirt he was wearing. "Is that?" Steve trailed off at the sight of the shirt.

Thor's shirt was blue with white letters, it read:

_THE MISSION:_

_Get in and get out with as little incident as possible. Take as much as you can with the best deals. And most importantly, don't get involved with an old lady, it's just not worth it._

But there was an added piece. On the back it said _BLACK FRIDAY_, unlike the shirts Tony had made just days ago. And the D was a bow, like for a bow and arrow.

"Yes, that is the shirts I made the other day. The shirt that all of you," Tony gestured to everyone. "Claimed you hated. But this son of a bitch was apparently lying. A new line of these shirts just went to market. And guess who was almost the last to know?" Tony then made a bold move and pushed Clint while Natasha had been distracted. "The guy who freaking made them."

"Hey, hey look it's not my fault. How the hell was I supposed to know they'd actually go for it? And if you're mad about the money than hey, you can have like 12% if you want." Clint said with a cheeky grin. Tony turned and his jaw slacked. "Pepper told you to say that didn't she?"

"Wait wait I got another one," Clint said with a smile. Then his face went kind of neutral but he had a slight look of insanity. Looking straight into Tony's eyes a small creepy smile reached his lips. "You think that just because you have an idea it belongs to you?" Tony then went all ninja badass on him. "You bastard," he shouted loudly.

Natasha stepped back and let them go at each other. Steve came up to her, "Uh you're just gonna let them go at it?" Natasha rolled her eyes. "Sometimes boys just need to be boys. Plus I secretly gave Stark a razor, that was a real low blow for Clint."

Bruce walked over to join the two. "So Barton actually got someone to endorse in those shirts?"

"Yeah, he even put up a website. Come on I'll show you." Natasha led Bruce to the computer meant for everyone to use as recreational purposes. Steve on the other hand was a bit iffy about leaving the two to fight it out, but at the sight of blood he calmly followed the others to the computer. Natasha pulled up a website the had flashing colors that said BLACK FRIDAY and images of shirts appeared. "See you can go and pick a shirt, whether you want a tank top, wife beater, t-shirt, V-cut, turtle neck. Then you can chose a color and then colors of the words."

"I can't believe he actually got people to buy these, how they heck did he do it?" Bruce asked as he looked at the screen. Natasha gave a coy smile and clicked a link. All of sudden pictures of Tony Stark wearing these certain shirts started popping up. "See if Iron Man wears them everyone will want one."

Bruce and Steve stared at it in shock. Then Bruce laughed, "That is so low. Selling another guys merchandise and getting a picture of him wearing it, that's so wrong."

Natasha grinned and stared at the still shocked Steve. "Ho, ho, ho." Was all he said.

**A/N: So like I said there wasn't that much but I got out what I wanted. So YAY I finally finished. Hope you guys enjoyed it.**


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